Porn In The Valley

Resources and Links on Pornography Statistics and Porn Addiction

DesiDivine@DesiDivine.com (Desi Foxx) — 2010-02-28T03:26:00Z

I have been asked about where I get my information and statistics for the series I am doing at BlogTV and Desi's Desires Live. I thought this was a good place to post the links to where I do much of my research. You can just put "Pornography Statistics" or "Pornography Addiction" into google or bing search and you can find more than you can possibly read in a week lol. Most of my research is done on sites from government, universities, recognized experts, professors, psychologists, authors and media sources. Though there is a wealth of information from organizations and religious groups, I try not to list those here with no disrespect meant to these groups who are working so hard to help those afflicted with sex and porn addiction and those trying to rebuild their lives after working in the sex industries. I do this because the pro porn activists try to say that it's only religious zealots and feminist groups that are talking about these issues and saying there is a problem. The following list proves there's many others that feel the same way. I've even included some links from other countries who are faced with this problem that America has created. Many of these links will take you to other resource links that they have used to back up their information and statistics.

I also must state that much of my story comes from my personal experience after having spent a year and a half inside the porn industry. I spent that time talking to many veterans of the industry. I spent many hours on porn sets watching and listening. I spent even more time talking to the girls who work there. I spent time listening to the men who work there. I've had many of the damaging affects put upon myself by insiders of the porn industry who don't like me speaking out against them. Basically, I learned everything I'm talking about while I worked there and saw it first hand. After I left, I started researching to see if what I saw and learned was indeed the true facts. Here is more than enough evidence of what I'm talking about. It is truly an epidemic we're facing and the porn industry is truly trying to destroy our family values with full intent of what they are doing!! There's a whole lot more information out there, you just have to look for it!!

PORNOGRAPHY STATISTIC LINKS

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pornography

http://www.netcaucus.org/statistics/

http://www.obscenitycrimes.org/index.php

http://www.internetnews.com/bus-news/article.php/3083001

http://www.fbi.gov/publications.htm

http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/FAQ.html

http://www.economywatch.com/world-industries/porn-industry.html

http://www.justice.gov/oig/reports/plus/e0107/results.htm

http://jurist.law.pitt.edu/forumy/2006/06/rape-porn-and-criminality-political.php

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28679588/

http://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~linberly/history.html

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/shared/bsp/hi/pdfs/30_08_05_porn_doc.pdf

http://www.attorneygeneral.gov/uploadedFiles/Consumers/cybersafety.pdf

http://criminaljustice.state.ny.us/missing/i_safety/porn_dangers.htm

http://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Pornography

http://www.leg.state.fl.us/statutes/index.cfm?StatuteYear=2009&AppMode=Display_Results&Mode=Search%2520Statutes&Submenu=2&Tab=statutes&Search_String=human+trafficking

http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/bdquery/D?d111:1:./temp/~bd9lno:@@@L&summ2=m&|/bss/111search.html|

http://www.state.gov/documents/organization/10492.pdf

http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/presidential-proclamation-national-slavery-and-human-trafficking-prevention-month

http://www.truthdig.com/arts_culture/item/20091011_the_victims_of_pornography/

http://www.obscenitycrimes.org/Senate-Reisman-Layden-Etc.pdf

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/12/david-ogden-confirmed-as_n_174383.html

http://familysafemedia.com/pornography_statistics.html#anchor2

http://familysafemedia.com/pornography_statistics.html#anchor5

http://www.nationalcoalition.org/statisticspornography.asp

http://shelleylubben.com/porn

http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/internet-pornography-statistics.html

http://www.forbes.com/2005/11/22/internet-pornography-children-cz_sl_1123internet.html

http://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/ojjdp/204911.pdf

http://www.ed.uiuc.edu/wp/netfiles.uiuc.edu/kleckaus/www/childpornography.html

http://www.law.stanford.edu/display/images/dynamic/events_media/Kendall%20cover%20+%20paper.pdf

http://internet.suite101.com/article.cfm/combating_internet_pornography

http://www.cnn.com/2003/TECH/internet/12/10/porn.business/

http://www.hawaii.edu/PCSS/biblio/articles/1961to1999/1999-pornography-rape-sex-crimes-japan.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_pornography

http://www.victimsfirst.gc.ca/news-nouv/bg-di/doc_ma072009c.html

http://www.israelnationalnews.com/Articles/Article.aspx/6499

http://www.cbc.ca/documentaries/doczone/2009/porndemic/index.html

http://bcis.pacificu.edu/journal/2009/10/article.php?id=621

http://www.efa.org.au/Publish/aba_analysis.html

http://www.thebluebanner.net/men-s-pornogrphy-use-exceeds-women-s-by-40-percent-1.1112211

http://www.afec.org/issues/pornography/facts.htm

PORNOGRAPHY ADDICTION

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pornography_addiction

http://blog.vh1.com/2009-10-06/sex-rehab-with-dr-drew-peep-the-full-cast/

http://www.obscenitycrimes.org/Senate-Reisman-Layden-Etc.pdf

http://www.psycharts.com/pornography.htm

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/05/01/eveningnews/eyeontech/main2749789.shtml

http://www.oprah.com/oprahradio/Pornography-Addiction

http://www.unk.edu/offices/womenscenter.aspx?id=24364

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2010/feb/22/hagelin-fighting-porn-with-safety-net/

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSN2835847820080829

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4302347/

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,364749,00.html

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6525520/

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/11/books/review/11sohn.html

http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/09/05/sex.addiction/index.html

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/understanding_why_pornography_addiction_is_a_brain_disease

http://www.drjudithreisman.com/archives/2005/12/senate_subcommi.html

http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=2748044n

http://blogs.abcnews.com/campuschatter/2010/02/larry-flynt-to-students-we-have-to-tolerate-things-we-dont-necessarily-like.html

http://www.vancouversun.com/Porndemic+looks+pornography+addiction+with+wary+future/1448881/story.html

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/enlightened-living/200808/pornography-emotional-availability-and-female-objectification

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marnia-robinson/what-porn-users-taught-me_b_298699.html

http://www.csun.edu/~psy453/addict_y.htm

http://xxxchurch.com/x3pure/singleguys.html?kwmid=93&kmcid=%7Bcreative%7D&_kk=c0b56f35-23be-4fc4-98da-4f1d598301ce&_kt=4079255425&gclid=CLfzq_b_k6ACFRkhnAodVTH3ew

http://men.webmd.com/guide/is-pornography-addictive

http://www2.seattlepi.com/articles/415822.html

http://articles.sfgate.com/2010-02-22/entertainment/17950909_1_sexual-addiction-sexual-behavior-pornography

http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/2004/11/65772

http://www.amazon.com/Treating-Pornography-Addiction-Essential-Recovery/dp/097722080X

http://wsr.byu.edu/content/information-pornography-addiction

http://www.hg.org/medical-experts/Medical-Experts-Pornography-Addiction.asp

http://www.houstonpress.com/2010-02-18/news/teen-porn-101/

http://www.amazon.com/Porn-Trap-Essential-Overcoming-Pornography/dp/006123186X

http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/features/defining-internet-addictions

http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/health/2009/01/16/2009-01-16_men_women_and_porn_addiction_whose_probl.html

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mindful-sex/200808/internet-sex-addiction-case-studies-and-treatment

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2008/nov/23/health-wellbeing-therapy-society

http://www.usyd.edu.au/news/84.html?newsstoryid=4467

http://www.acar.net.au/

http://www.csw.ohio-state.edu/trainingforprofessionals/trainingcalendar/091208/

http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/sex_and_sexual_health/probs_sexaddiction.shtml

http://www.stateuniversity.com/blog/permalink/College-Students-and-Pornography.html

A Socially Conscience Porn Industry - Is It Possible to Have??

DesiDivine@DesiDivine.com (Desi Foxx) — 2010-02-25T15:50:00Z

I decided to write this entry a few weeks ago. I have to admit I've written it like three times and then I always end up deleting it. The problem I have when trying to discuss the issues in porn that need addressing is the fact that those who have been working in porn any length of time already know the problems that need fixing.

One of the questions I get asked most frequently is "Was working in the porn industry always a bad experience or did I have good times as well?". I was asked this question in my first show last night at "Desi's Desires Live". At that point, I still didn't have a clear and concise way to answer it. As I laid down to sleep last night, it finally came to me. I'll try to explain it as best as I can and hopefully it will also show how the porn industry needs to make huge changes but I won't hold my breath that they will

In the porn industry, there is a very distinct system for how every single detail of porn is run and decided. It affects how porn will be produced and distributed. It also decides how the girls who work in porn will be treated. While not every single person in the porn industry is evil, every single person who works there goes by this same system. It's this system that is morally and ethically corrupt. It's this system that encourages the blatant abuse and degradation of women. It's this system that's ruining American's values. And every single person that works there is using this evil and corrupt system.

I met good people while I was there. I've made some great friends who are still my very good friends. I worked with some good people while there. I had fun and enjoyed being around many of these people. The problem that everyone has while they work there is that they all have to work within this same corrupt system. I chose to leave and speak out against this system that damages us all by it's actions. The problem is nobody does anything to change this. They just accept that it's corrupt and keep going. What that does is foster encouragement for really bad behavior at the very least. What has happened inside the porn industry is that it has grown into something that's truly evil.

You have different groups inside the industry. Those who work there and deal with the corruption by ignoring it. And then you have those who feed on the corruption and are actually working to grow it. They are the true faces of evil. Now, to talk about how to improve the industry, the ones who just accept it need to take a stand. They need to stop using the services of the evil people who are out to truly hurt people. By using this evil system, they are simply supporting that evil and by doing so they too become part of the evil. There's just no other way to explain it.

Since I left the porn industry and started to speak out against it, I've been contacted by many who asked if I felt they had treated me badly. They were concerned about my feelings and didn't want to be thought of that way. I had to explain that though they had treated me well, they were participants in the corruption by way of depraved indifference. When an agent or a producer brings a girl into the porn industry, they know full well once she gets there, she will be subjected to abuse and degradation by many others. Though they themselves may not seek to abuse her, they've set her up for a guaranteed damaging existence. It's like wanting your cake and to eat it too. You can't have one without the other. At least not in the current environment.

Producers who want to stop this behavior should not work with agencies who support it. Everyone knows what agencies are corrupt so if you don't want to be a part of the abuse, simply stop using performers from these agencies. Agents who want to separate themselves from the abuse, should stop sending girls to producers who will chew up these girls and destroy them. Again, we all know who does what in the industry so this is an easy task to accomplish. By not choosing to use only socially conscience companies and agencies, you become part of the problem instead of becoming a part of the solution.

Then we get to the content. I was asked if I had done things in porn scenes that I didn't want to. Of course I did was my answer. None of us wants to do porn the way that it's done. Every single performer talks about how the porn scenes are messed up. They all talk about the abuses. They all talk about the degradation. Every single girl I know particularly hates the face shot. They all talk about the racism. They all talk about how fake it all is. If a production company wanted to be socially conscience, they'd start shooting socially conscience porn which means to get rid of these practices that everyone in porn knows is wrong.

The face shot was specifically designed to change the way men think about women. Put the girl on her knees like a servant and have a man ejaculate all over her face. There's only one other thing in porn that's more degrading to a woman and that's the anal scenes that have become part of the norm. We've seen a huge increase in anal scenes over the past few years. Why do you think that is?? If we go back into the 90s, you'll find that ejaculations were never on the face. You'll find there were very few anal scenes. It was a small niche market at best. These two methods of degradation were specifically brought in to change the way men think about women. It was to change the face of American values. It's a major part of the evil, corrupt system.

Consumers would buy socially conscience porn. Consumers would actually appreciate it. First of all, it would be something different. We all know they're tired of the current cookie cutter video. Secondly, they would not be so ashamed to be using it. Again though, the porn industry isn't set up to do what is good for the consumer. They really don't care what the consumer wants. The system is set up to change American's values. The evil in the porn industry gets off on the abuse and degradation of women. They want the whole world to degrade and devalue women. It's what they are all about in the porn industry. They brag about how they love to use women. They don't hide their motives at all. Their goal is to take down American values. They want us all to be as sexually depraved as they are so they can buy and sell all women and children for a living without possible repercussions. It's about changing the way Americans think so they can get the laws changed to support their abuse of women and children. And guess what, unless we do something to change this, they are succeeding in doing exactly what I'm saying. Just look at the Supreme Court's decision to let them!!

So, to answer the question about good and bad times in the industry, it's not about any individual time I had. It's about what I learned about the system. What I might have thought was okay became very much not okay when I understood the meaning behind them. It's what is lacking in American's education of porn. You see sex but what is really there is the porn industries system of instilling abuse, degradation and slavery of women back into a society that has fought so hard against it. Now that I understand what they are portraying and how they get together to laugh about what they're getting away with, I feel violated like I was raped. Now that they have my content, the same people who shot it call me a filthy and nasty porn whore. They built me up with compliments and praise to get that content and now they degrade and defile me every chance that they get. What I thought was empowering me as a sexual woman, they have turned into a degrading and disgusting behavior. It's like being raped and not knowing it. You see the guy bragging to his friends on the internet after you've slept with him. He's laughing about how he had fucked and used you when you thought that he had really liked you. Producers and agents in the porn industry destroy the girls in porn this way and I know for fact that they do because they tried to destroy me this way!!!

We can say there's corruption in every industry in our country but our government fights against that corruption through laws and regulation. While it may still exist in these industries, it is beat down by the means employees have to speak out against abuse and find justice. In porn, corruption runs rampant. There's no one enforcing basic laws that are already on the books. And there needs to be more regulations about the behavior and safety of porn. Ejaculating on the face is an extremely high risk sexual activity. The sinus cavities and eyes are directly connected to the brain. They need to be using condoms since no one can be trusted with the testing. Until the porn industry is forced to make changes to stop their criminal activities and high risk behaviors, the ENTIRE industry will continue to be corrupt and evil. For those who continue use this corrupt system, they are subject to the same scrutiny as those who are pushing it. You can't have it both ways. If you want to be considered any differently, make the decision to change things by building a new system that supports and promotes healthy and empowering sexual behavior in America. That's what I thought porn was when I first started working there. Then I started to pay attention and I realized the truth was drastically different.

This is the only way that you can get to the place of producing socially conscience porn. If you continue to use the corrupt system, you're saying you want to corrupt all of America!!

Specific Actions You Can Take to Shoot Socially Conscience Porn:

Allow testing from any medically accredited laboratory.

Stop shooting face shots. Ejaculate on the breasts, stomach or butt only.

Stop shooting anal porn. It is damaging in too many ways.

Let performers use condoms and don't discriminate against them if they choose to.

Only hire from agencies that represent the girls properly (currently World Modeling is the only agency that follows ALL the rules).

Only send performers to producers that treat the girls with respect and won't try to have sex with them once they get them to the set location.

Pay the girls directly for their work taking out the agents commission and paying only that directly to the agent.

Don't advocate, push or support escorting in any fashion. It's illegal, simple as that!!

Agents can't perform in scenes with performers they represent. This is so blatantly wrong.

Show sex as real sex. Not 3-8 minutes in 4 positions the exact same way every time. You say the consumers want fresh content, give it to them through creativity.

Stop showing girls as submissive. Stop showing them as sex slaves. Empower them in scenes. Show them choosing a guy to sleep with because he treats her well instead of by being a jerk.

Show true intimacy in the sex. If girls do oral on guys, guys should do oral on girls. Let kissing be a big part of the scene. Show intimacy and romance instead of whores who love to get fucked. Stop rough sex and let performers have sex at their own pace.

Make females performers look like college age or older. Stop the junior high look. Stop promoting pedophilia.

Stop shooting all incestuous based scenes. Whether it's fake or not is not the issue. It sends a wrong message to the consumers.

Stop racial stereotype casting. All blacks are not thugs, drug dealers and ignorant. Show black men as strong and intelligent. You know, there are college and business men who are black!!

Stop using the terms whore, slut, bitch, fuck hole, etc. in your story lines. You stopped using them in the videos. It should be the same rules for all written material as well.

Only shoot women who are 21 or older so they are more mature and able to make the decision to do porn for a living.

Stop promising work to a performer only if she will sleep with you. Hire performers based on talent and looks not on what you can get from her sexually.

Stop promoting pornstars by making them act like stupid and crazy girls. Let them show the world they have brains. We know that most of them do!!

Start giving performers a royalty on their work. Stop ripping off their websites and content. Start helping them build fair and equitable websites where they get a true 50% of the revenues. Let them have creative control.

Take all of your free porn on the internet and put it on a XXX domain. Make a visitor to your website prove they are over 18 in order to see anything hardcore.

These are just a few suggestions that would prove you're serious about being a socially conscience porn production company, agent, agency and recruiter. You know what needs to be done. JUST DO IT!!

Desi's Desires Goes Live at BlogTV.com

DesiDivine@DesiDivine.com (Desi Foxx) — 2010-02-23T18:12:00Z

FoXX
Media
Group

Welcome to "Desi's Desires" Live Broadcasting System. I'll be broadcasting Live at BlogTV on a weekly basis to talk about the many issues Americans are dealing with these days. I hope you will stop by and join in the discussions. If you'd like to include a topic to discuss or have comments on shows I've presented, feel free to email me at Diana@DesisDesires.com. Be sure to include the show title/subject and let me know if you want to remain anonymous.

WEDNESDAYS at 10PM EST
"Pornography - Fantasy vs. Reality"
Let's talk about the facts and fictions of porn. Learn about all the dirty little secrets the porn industry doesn't want you to know. Get real information on how pornography is affecting people, relationships and our society as a whole. If you watch porn, you need to watch this show!!

SATURDAYS at 3PM EST
"Womens Issues in America"
A place to talk about the issues that are affecting women in America today. We'll cover topics such as porn, dating and relationships, politics, the workplace, discrimination and equality. Tell me what issues you are dealing with. Let's get together and build a better America for Women everywhere!!

Dr. Drew Speaks Out About Struggling with Sex Addiction

DesiDivine@DesiDivine.com (Desi Foxx) — 2010-02-23T15:24:00Z

The Oprah Winfrey Show
November 23, 2009

Some experts believe it's more addictive than drugs, more destructive than alcohol and more misunderstood than other addictions. What's destroying thousands of lives and relationships across the country? Sex.

Dr. Drew Pinsky, an addiction specialist and host of the VH1 reality series Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew, says sex addiction is the most hidden, most shameful disease in America. "It is one of the problems of our time," he says. "We've just been through a period of history where sexuality was viewed as a revolution and [people thought] it's okay to do whatever you're into, but the fact is, sexuality has become a drug in our culture."

Sex addiction isn't as simple as promiscuity. Dr. Drew defines the disease as an intimacy disorder. People who are addicted to sex may be afraid or unfamiliar with intimacy, so they substitute sex for real human closeness.

"Sexuality is something that should make you feel good about yourself," Dr. Drew says. "[When you're a sex addict], you've lost control of your sexuality."

Men and women who experience negative consequences from sex, yet continue the same behavior, are considered addicts. "The biggest issue is consequences," Dr. Drew says. "Work, school, finances, relationships, health, legal status…those areas of your life are being threatened."
When you hear the term "sex addict," family therapist Jill Vermeire says you may think of a nymphomaniac, slut, whore or pervert…but this disease affects all kinds of people. "In reality, it can be a mom, a dad, a lawyer, a doctor, a priest, the guy at the grocery store," she says. "It could be anybody."

Many sex addicts do have one thing in common. Dr. Drew says 80 to 90 percent suffered trauma as children. "If you have a history of trauma, particularly sexual trauma, in childhood, you want to look very carefully at this behavior," he says.

In fact, Dr. Drew says these terrorizing experiences can influence who you're drawn to as an adult. "The people and places that cause terror in childhood cause attraction in adulthood," he says. "We end up being repetitively attracted to the same kind of person that obliges us by acting out the same behavior over again."
To bring this taboo topic out of the shadows, Dr. Drew and a team of addiction specialists work with self-confessed sex addicts on the VH1 reality series Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew.

Cameras follow along as men and women go through an intense detox program and address intimacy issues.

On day one, the participants are given a set of ground rules: no porn, no sex toys, no touching, no masturbation and absolutely no sex.

Amber Smith, a former Sports Illustrated swimwear model, sought help to get over an unhealthy obsession with men. After beating a drug addiction, Amber says she became intent on meeting men. "I wake up every day, and I go boy hunting to get a hit of the guy," she said. "I feel like I'm falling apart. This is a thousand times more fearful than drug rehab."

Dr. Drew says Amber struggles with another form of sex addiction—love addiction. "In love addiction that experience of: 'Oh my God, I'm in love. … I feel whole, and I feel like I've known this person forever.' That is a feeling that you have to have all the time," he says. "You become addicted to it."
Dr. Drew says women often start out as love addicts and over time develop into sex addicts. Amber traces her problems back to her childhood. Her father left home when she was 3 years old, and as an adult, she says she became obsessed with men who look just like him.

"I met someone at 19, and we didn't even have a relationship. He basically came over to my house a couple times, and we hooked up. Then, I just stayed very obsessed for 12 years," she says. "The new one is now three years. I can't let go. He is my everything. If he would turn around and love me, I would be happy."

"Or is the truth if he turned around and loved you the way you say you want to be loved, you wouldn't know what to do with it?" Oprah asks.

"I haven't had that happen," she says. "I can't stop because I've never had that guy turn around and say, 'I love you.' I'd probably run. I have no idea." Amber says her obsessions aren't fatal attractions, but when she doesn't see these men, she becomes severely depressed.

It's been six months since Amber left rehab, and though she has the tools to end the cycle, she says it's very hard to stop.

Dr. Drew says women like Amber deserve better. "All women are worth more than that," he says. "[Relationships are] supposed to be about mutuality and closeness, and with addicts and trauma survivors, they can't tolerate closeness. Humans need intimacy. We've destroyed it in our country."
Unlike most sex addicts, rock drummer Phil Varone says he had a happy childhood and supportive parents. Then, as an adult, Phil found himself incapable of holding on to a relationship. "I just can't have a relationship because I'm so like addicted to a woman's body," he said. "I have to have them."

Over the years, Phil estimates that he's had sex with more than 3,000 women, and yet he's afraid of dying alone. "I refer to my alter ego as Hans because he was the rock star. He was the guy who came into the room, you know, pointed a finger and got any woman he wanted," he says. "Phil went to the hotel room alone and just cried on a bed."

When Phil completed Dr. Drew's rehab program six months ago, he says he was scared and confused at first, but now he's starting to care about someone besides himself. "I'm really even more sorry for my old relationships," he says. "The ones that I really hurt are the ones that I truly feel bad about."
Before entering sex rehab, Jennie Ketcham was better known as Penny Flame, a porn star who had no interest in intimacy. "We can have sex, but at the end of the night, I'm probably going to ask you to leave," she said. "It's just sex to me."

During a therapy session with Dr. Drew, Jennie opens up the experiences that made her hide behind a promiscuous character. After suffering through a traumatic childhood, Jennie says she lost her virginity at age 12 and began having sex with boys in her middle school.

Watch as Jennie opens up during a therapy session.

"It made me feel powerful over the boys. But, I mean, it totally backfired," she says. "The whole middle school found out that I had a new game to play, and they'd sing songs at lunch. They'd sing, '1, 2, 3, 4, Jennie Ketcham is a whore.'"

Jennie reveals that taking boys' virginity made her feel like a monster.

Since leaving rehab, Jennie says she's left Penny Flame behind. For six months, she's abstained from drinking, pornography and sex. "Rehab really shattered this facade that I've been putting on," she says. "Once those pieces were strewn across the rehab floor, the work that I've done in picking them up and putting them back together has made me feel a lot less like a monster…but there are certainly days."

Before pursuing an intimate relationship with another person, Jennie says she's trying to have one with herself. "I haven't had one up to this point," she says.
Sex addiction doesn't just affect the addict. Many times, spouses and partners are caught in the middle.

After four years of marriage, Elaine says she discovered that her husband, Jonathan, was secretly addicted to porn. His addiction led him into sex chat rooms, and he eventually began having sex with prostitutes.

During this time, Jonathan says he hid his addiction out of shame, and though he felt a release when he had sex, he didn't enjoy these extramarital relationships. "There's the thrill of sex, but it's just so filled with shame and secrecy," he says. "It also brought such feelings of guilt."

When Elaine first found out about Jonathan's addiction, they separated, but they have been back together for 10 years. What advice would Jonathan give other couples facing the same painful admission?

"We always ask people to kind of take a breathing period. There may need to be a separation for a period of time," he says. "We have found that our intimacy in our relationship and our connection is vastly better than we ever imagined it could be. … There is hope for change."

Dr. Drew says a marriage plagued by sex addiction can survive if both partners are committed to the recovery process. "It can't be a one-way street," he says.
To beat a sex addiction, Dr. Drew says patients must address emotional issues head on.

"We first have them do a timeline of their life and talk about all the major events and traumas," he says. "We're jumping in deeply into the feelings and these things that they've been detached from and avoiding many times their whole lives."

Dr. Drew says this makes sex addiction the most difficult and painful to treat, and for some, recovery takes three to five years. "It is a relationship with the self that is flawed. Parts of the self get literally walled off from them. They can't love them," he says. "They can't even access them."

Oprah says she believes interpersonal and spiritual experiences can help addicts access the parts of themselves that have been walled off for so long. "You cannot survive without a spiritual connection," she says. "When you have a deeper, spiritually grounded love for yourself … you will no longer allow other people to abuse you. Because you know that you are carrying God's body. You're God's body. You're made in the image of that which is greater than yourself."

8-Year-Old Abused By Uncle Winning Restitution for Porn Images Circulated on Internet for a Decade

DesiDivine@DesiDivine.com (Desi Foxx) — 2010-02-23T15:18:00Z

By Susan Donaldson James
February 8, 2010 -

From the time she was 4, Amy's trusted uncle forced her to have painful oral and anal sex while being videotaped, swearing her to silence in their "special secret."

In 1998 when she was 9, the sexual abuse stopped and her uncle was arrested and imprisoned, but for more than a decade photos of the little girl have circulated on the Internet in some of the most widely distributed child pornography of all time -- "the Misty series."

Nearly 35,000 graphic images have now turned up in collections of arrested pedophiles, and Amy, who is now 20, is going where few victims of this horrific crime have gone before: She is seeking financial restitution -- up to $3.4 million -- from anyone who has sought perverse pleasure from her pain.

"I am still discovering all the ways that the abuse and exploitation I suffer has hurt me, has set my life on the wrong course, and destroyed the normal childhood, teenage years and early adulthood that everyone deserves," Amy wrote in a victim impact statement she prepared for the courts.

"Every day of my life, I live in constant fear that someone will see my pictures, recognize me and that I will be humiliated all over again," she wrote, recounting the lingering scars left on her life, despite years of therapy.

So far Amy, which is not her real name, has received about $170,000 in court-ordered restitution, and judges in several states have agreed that not only those who commit sex acts against children are culpable, but also those who download the images.

But not every jurisdiction agrees with the heavy court-ordered payments for those who view such images. Some judges have said restitution goes too far in punishing pedophiles whose only crime is to view photos, but Amy's lawyer, James Marsh, disagrees, saying the brutality in the "secret society" of child pornography requires tough measures.

"This is not 13-year-olds in bras or sexting or 17-year-old girls gone wild -- these are kids who are raped," said Marsh, a New York City lawyer.

"In one notorious set of images, the father used to put a studded collar around his 6-year-old and wrote on her in what looked like blood, 'I am Daddy's little girl, rape me.' He locked her in a dog cage," he told ABCNews.com.

Marsh is now seeking restitution in 350 cases that involve photos of Amy, through automated filings to the United States attorneys handling the cases.

In 1995, Marsh helped update a federal law that gives victims the right to sue anyone who produces, distributes or possess their child sex abuse images. It now provides statutory damages of $150,000 for each violation of federal child pornography provisions and was incorporated into the Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act and signed by President Bush 2006.

Masha's Law Allows Victims to Seek Damages

So-called "Masha's Law" came out of a 1998 case of a Russian orphan girl, known as Masha Allen, who was targeted by a sophisticated child pedophile network. Her American adoptive father raped and sexually abused her for six years and distributed hundreds of images on the Internet.

At the time, Marsh testified in Congress that social networking sites like MySpace and YouTube, as well as camera-enabled cell phones have "enabled and facilitated" child trafficking and the commercialization and distribution of child pornography.

Amy first became aware of the photos in 2005, when she began receiving victim notifications from government - now up to 850 in all - which were mandated by the 1984 Victims of Crime Act.

Each time a pedophile was prosecuted for downloading her images, a letter would arrive at her home, and she would relive the abuse.

Amy's uncle bought her gifts and let her ride his motorcycle. Now, distrusting, she shuns the generosity of others and fears getting a driver's license. "I will never ride a motorcycle again," she wrote.

Amy failed a high school anatomy class because of the disgust she felt at the human body. She is unable to trust others and says she sometimes "drinks too much" to hide her feelings of shame.

After the abuse her uncle would give her beef jerky, once a favorite snack, but now it evokes "feelings of panic, guilt," she said. "It's like I can never get away from what happened to me."

All this Amy described in the victim-impact statement Marsh urged her to write. He also hired a psychologist and estimated damages, based on costs of counseling, lost wages and lawyers fees, came to $3,467,854. Marsh said they will not stop seeking restitution until that sum is reached.

For years, authorities could not seek restitution because victims could not be identified.

But in 2009, The Center for Missing and Exploited Children was able to identify a girl they called "Amy" among 150 digital images that had been seized by Texas police in the case of a 43-year-old Dyle Randall Paroline.

They say that in that year alone, the Misty series was viewed by more than 8,800, showing Amy forced to perform "extremely graphic" acts, including oral sex, anal penetration and masturbation with an adult man.

Federal prosecutors sought $3.4 million restitution from Paroline, who pled guilty to possessing the photos, but U.S. Judge Leonard Davis said in an 18-page opinion that was too much, violating the Eighth Amendment's prohibition on excessive punishments. In a similar case in Maine, the judge agreed.

But Amy had already been successful in several cases. The first award of $200,000 came from a Connecticut judge in the conviction of Alan Hesketh, a British executive who had more than 1,000 images of child pornography, including some from the "Misty Series."

And in two separate cases in Florida, judges have ordered the defendants to pay Amy nearly $3.3 million and $3.7 million, and in California, a judge ordered $50,000 in restitution.

"The healing process is hard enough without 800 reminders coming in the mail constantly, knowing that other people knew what happened to you," said Jennifer Wilson Marsh, who is hotline director for The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization. "The shame is amplified."

But Wilson Marsh, who is no relation to Amy's lawyer, wonders how restitution will stop these heinous crimes.

"A lot of perpetrators find their way around the law," she told ABCNews.com. "It's really hard to put a monetary value on trauma."

One San Diego woman who was raped then photographed while interviewing for a job at the age of 21, said Amy's pain can't be erased with restitution.

"No money can cover what happened," said Aliza Amar, now a 49-year old activist for RAINN. "No money can take the shame away."

And others say punishing those who only download pornography in this way is too harsh.

"Not to excuse what the downloaders do and their complicity, but the actual abuser, the person who took the picture is worse. He actually harmed the child," said Amy Adler, a professor at New York University Law School who specializes in first amendment law and pornography.

Money Cannot Deter Pornography

"Given the severity of sentences and the jail time for downloading offenses, if that's not a significant deterrent, I don't know how money could be," said Adler. "Paying money is much less of a deterrent than jail for five years and then registering as a sex offender."

But a 2001 study of 400 inmates at the Butner Federal Correctional Complex in North Carolina concluded that offenders who were "merely collectors" of Internet child pornography were "significantly more likely than not to have sexually abused a child via a hands-on act."

Adler says that study is controversial, but Amy's lawyer insists the person who views the photos creates an incentive for violence against children.

Pornography "does not exist in a vacuum," said Marsh. A "powerful, long-term collector" - with 100,000 to 200,000 images -- can command others to commit sex crimes to obtain the images he wants.

Meanwhile, Amy leads a "very quiet, very simple" life at home with her parents in rural Pennsylvania. "She literally hasn't gone very far in life," said Marsh. "She tried to go to college, but couldn't cut it."

"She's a smart girl, very bright," he said. "But she has a lot of issues she grapples with in her past and is trying to get a handle on what happened to her."

Her uncle received a 17-25 year state sentence and a 10-year federal sentence, which were supposed to run consecutively. But because of administrative mistakes, the sentences ran concurrently, and he could be out in two years with parole.

"There is a misunderstanding of the crime, that it's photos of girls in bathing suits running around the sprinkler," said Marsh. "And people think pictures are not a big deal, it's just another greedy lawyer coming to cash in. But they don't understand the true nature of these criminal syndicates or the experience of the victim. For me, it's a no-brainer."

For help, contact RAINN's National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE for free confidential services.

ABC News information specialist Nicholas Tucker contributed to this report.

More Legal Woes for Porn Company Brazzers

DesiDivine@DesiDivine.com (Desi Foxx) — 2010-02-19T17:05:00Z

NEW YORK — Pink Visual’s holding company has filed suit against the owners of Brazzers, alleging that four company-owned tube sites poached content from 45 copyrighted movies and have streamed them “tens of millions of times.”

The websites at issue in Pink Visual’s $6.75 million complaint include KeezMovies.com, PornHub.com, Extremetube.com and Tube8.com, all owned by Canadian companies Mansef Inc. and Interhub, whose officers operate both companies.

Pink Visual’s complaint alleges that the defendants are not only aware of infringing content being uploaded to their sites, but that they “actively engage in, promote and induce this infringement.”

The suit, filed at U.S. District Court in New York, exposes just how dominant the tube sites have become, particularly for Mansef and Interhub.

“Using the leverage of the Internet, defendants and others like them appropriate the value of…. adult video content on a massive scale for their own benefit by operating websites known as tube sites that allow users to view and download a vast library of infringing adult video content for free,” Pink Visual’s complaint said.

“[T]he emergence of these tube sites operated by defendants and others threatens not just [Pink Visual], but the entire adult entertainment industry.”

Among Pink Visual’s findings included in the suit:

PornHub.com ranks among the top 50 websites in the world and is among the top 35 sites in the U.S.
Tube8.com ranks among the top 80 sites in the world and in the U.S. in terms of the number of visitors.
ExtremeTube.com is among the top 1,000 sites in the U.S. and the world.
KeezMovies.com over the past six months has catapulted its ranking to one of the top 200 most-popular sites in the world in terms of visitors.

Representing Pink Visual’s holding company (Ventura Content) in the case is the law firm Jenner and Block LLP, the same firm that represented copyright owners in their successful actions against Grokster, TorrentSpy and Usenet.com, among others.

“We are extremely confident in the legal theory and supporting arguments that have been constructed by our legal team, and we believe our case is very strong,” Pink Visual CEO Allison Vivas said in a statement.

Quentin B, Pink Visual’s spokesman said that the four sites evidently include content from an array of other companies.

“Without knowing who might have licensed their content to these sites, it is hard to speculate about how much of the content is infringing, but at a glance and based on the public statements of many other producers, it does appear that these tubes are filled with infringing content,” he told XBIZ. “The nature of the Internet being what it is, it’s really incumbent upon producers and rights holders to proactively protect their intellectual property.”

Pink Visual’s complaint alleges that the defendants not only are aware of infringing content being uploaded to their sites, but that they “actively engage in, promote and induce this infringement.”

Pink Visual is seeking statutory and actual damages, punitive damages, attorneys fees and injunctive relief.

Brazzers Parent Company Mansef Inc. Fighting $6.4 Million Forfeiture Suit

DesiDivine@DesiDivine.com (Desi Foxx) — 2010-02-16T19:40:00Z

ATLANTA — The parent company of Brazzers has filed a motion to dismiss the forfeiture of $6.4 million the U.S. government is seeking after authorities traced numerous transactions involving the Canadian adult company and third-party credit card processors, including those in Israel.

Brazzers, which is owned by Mansef Inc., set up an Atlanta company last year called Premium Services Inc. to facilitate payments from Mansef’s third-party credit card processors into the accounts and to allow the company to remit funds out of two checking accounts to its U.S. vendors, the company said in court papers filed last week.

But federal authorities claim that Premium Services was not registered with the U.S. Department of Treasury nor with the Georgia Department of Banking and Finance as a money-transmitting business. (Court Filing)

The government noted that Premium Services has no known office building nor employees and operates at a mail drop called The Mail Room.

Federal authorities say in the complaint that Premium Services for three months last year received $9.4 million in wire transfers from various sources and that much of the funds originated overseas in countries considered by law enforcement to be at high risk for money-laundering activity, such as Israel.

In exhibits provided by the government, some of those Israel-based processors transacting business with Premium Services included Paygea Ltd., CAL-International, Mizrahi Tefahot Bank Ltd. and Israel Discount Bank Ltd., whose subsidiary Israel Credit Cards-Cal Ltd. was levied a $13.5 million fine in November by VISA Europe over chargebacks.

U.S. authorities claim that $6.4 million in the two accounts is forfeitable under 18 U.S.C. § 981 (a)(1)(A) as property involved in or traceable to a transaction in violation of 18 U.S.C. § 1960, which prohibit’s unlicensed money-transmitting buinesses.

The U.S. Attorneys Office, which is trying the case, was unavailable for comment on Monday due to the President’s Day holiday. But authorities typically rely on the Bank Secrecy Act reports and record-keeping requirements to provide a paper trail, for investigations of financial crimes and illegal activities, including tax evasion, embezzlement and money laundering,

Susan Ross, a Los Angeles litigator who represents Mansef, did not immediately return XBIZ calls on Monday for inquiry.

But in court papers, Mansef and Premium Services claim that the two bank account were at the behest of Mansef.

“Premium is not a money-transmitting business as defined in federal or Georgia state law and so it is not required to be licensed or registered as such,” a motion filed last week said. “There are no allegations, in this or any other forum, that the adult entertainment provided by Mansef is anything other than lawful and legitimate.

“The government bases its entire complaint on the unsupported leap that Premium Services, because it has bank accounts into which it received deposits and from which it made disbursements, is an unlicensed money-transmitting business.”

RESOURCE - A Handout for Young People Who Need Help

DesiDivine@DesiDivine.com (Desi Foxx) — 2010-02-16T01:37:00Z

Bought and Sold - A Brochure

I've attached the brochure for you to read and so you can print out to distribute. There is information at the end on how to order these. This is a great resource for the different agencies who are reaching out to help our youth in crisis. If you know of a young person who has run out of options, use these phone numbers to get them help. This issue is coming to the forefront. Volunteer your time or donate to help us help our children!!

RESOURCE FOR MEN - Hear The Truth About Why Girls Do Porn and Say They Love It

DesiDivine@DesiDivine.com (Desi Foxx) — 2010-02-05T18:20:00Z

I'd have to say the number one question I get from men these days is "Why do pornstars say that doing porn is so great if it really isn't. There's videos everywhere showing pornstars talking about how they love doing porn, how they love having sex like that and how much fun they are having. Even you said you liked doing porn when you started and now you say how bad it is. I'm confused!!".

Shelley Lubben is the founder of The Pink Cross Foundation and worked in the sex industries before turning her life around. Now she helps others leave the sex industries. Here, she shares her story of her years prostituting, stripping and working in porn. What it was really like and why she really did it. You asked the question, Shelley has the answer in these videos. Check it out and you'll understand. She speaks the truth for us all. It's the same story for EVERY young woman out there working in the sex industries. Hear it for yourself from another ex-sex worker who has the courage to speak out about these abusive industries!!

If you are currently working in the sex industries and want to get out, Shelley's group at The Pink Cross can help. Contact them TODAY!!

RESOURCE - GEMS (Girls Educational & Mentoring Services) - There is HELP if YOU want to LEAVE the Porn Industry

DesiDivine@DesiDivine.com (Desi Foxx) — 2010-02-03T22:22:00Z

Girls Educational & Mentoring Services (GEMS) is the nation’s largest organization empowering girls and young women, ages 12-21, who have experienced sexual exploitation and domestic trafficking to exit the commercial sex industry and develop to their full potential. GEMS is committed to ending commercial sexual exploitation and domestic trafficking of children by changing individual lives, transforming public perception, and revolutionizing the systems and policies that impact sexually exploited youth. GEMS’ vision is to end the commercial exploitation and trafficking of children. We believe that all young women have great beauty and worth, and the potential for future success. The voices and experiences of youth survivors are integral to the development and implementation of all GEMS’ programming.

History

GEMS, was founded in 1999 by Rachel Lloyd, a young woman who had been sexually exploited as a teenager. Ms. Lloyd came to the U.S in 1997 as a missionary to work with adult women exiting prostitution. While working with adult women in correctional facilities and on the streets, Ms. Lloyd observed the overwhelming need for services for young women at risk for sexual exploitation who were being ignored by traditional social service agencies. It became clear that specialized services were essential for this disenfranchised population.

From a one-woman kitchen table project, GEMS has grown to a nationally recognized and acclaimed organization and now is one of the largest providers of services to commercially sexually exploited and domestically trafficked youth in the US. GEMS advocates at the local, state and national level to promote policies that support young women who have been commercially sexually exploited and domestically trafficked.

Call them now at (212) 926-8089 or visit their website at http://www.gems-girls.org/about to get more information. You can get help here. You deserve a better life and there's people here who can help you succeed. Take that first step and call them!!!!